Your mistakes are not bigger than God's ever-reaching, ever-loving arms. I think sometimes as believers we think that we have messed up so royally or missed God in such a big way that we can never get back in line with God's plan for our life. I'm here to encourage you and let you know that is not so.
I know, like I do, that you have a heart to please God in all you do. Just like me, you're not perfect. We all miss it sometimes, and it's important to remember when we do that it's not the end of the world or the end of God's favor and blessing upon our lives. When I was younger, when I would make a mistake or do something that I thought displeased God, I would get so down on myself. I would wonder how I could have done such a thing. Why didn't I see things more clearly or make wiser choices? I was my own worst enemy. I'm glad I have learned that that type of self-condemnation or self-criticism is not what God is looking for, and it doesn't do anybody any good (Romans 8:1).
Yes, it is good to realize our mistakes and repent for them, but it is not good to think that you as a person are displeasing to God just because your actions may have been. God is ever-loving and ever-forgiving, and He loves us no matter what. He hangs in there with us no matter what we do. He may not be pleased with a particular action we take, but He is always standing with us helping us to see the way to walk in His light and to understand His way of doing things. He, by His Holy Spirit, is ever with us giving us wisdom, revelation, and insight, giving us light in darkness. He promises to have His hand ever upon us. (Please read Psalm 139:1-12.) It's the devil who wants you to think you have made such a mess of things that they can never be made right. It's the devil who talks to you with condemnation and judgement. God's voice always instructs us with love and peace (Isaiah 26:3, 12; Philippians 4:7).
God is so good. Every time I have found myself in fear about missing God or not listening closely enough to His voice, He tells me, "My grace is greater than your mistakes." Recently, I was having such a conversation with Him, and He said to me in my spirit, "Heaven is in My arms." That made me pause. Do you know what He was saying? He was telling me to rest in Him, not to get anxious about the struggles or about having to do everything perfectly. He's got my back. He goes before me to prepare the way. He is in me. He is my strong tower, my sure victory. As long as we are on this earth, there is nothing such as "perfect." He knows that. He looks on our heart, and He has given us His Word that He will perfect that which concerns us (Psalm 138:8). His ever-loving, ever-reaching, all-encompassing, ever-compassionate arms are big enough to cover me and my mistakes. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
So, today, I would like you to look at yourself with the goodness, the kindness, the gentleness, and the mercy with which God looks at you. Jump into His arms and find Heaven on earth! It's a lot closer than you think.